How often do you go to the supermarket and have the person serving you ask you how you are, what the weather is like (because they have been inside all day), what are you doing for the weekend (because they wish they had the free time to enjoy the weekend too)? Each time you go through the check out, I would imagine.

How do you respond? Do you grunt in discouragement? Do you answer in short, economic sentences? Or do you open up, respond to their questions and ask them how they are doing (usually tired), when do they finish work (not soon enough) and what else have they got planned for the weekend (going out tonight, if they’re not too tired). When they wear a name tag, do you call them by their name?

If you do this often enough with the same people you will be assured of excellent service each time you go to that store. But that’s not the point. More importantly, shopping becomes more pleasant and, while you won’t necessarily make life long friends, you will make acquaintances which promote a feeling of wellbeing and a sense of community and lifts the usual dreary, drudgery of shopping to a level that is bearable and, just perhaps, enjoyable. And you will learn an awful lot about people. The young woman who looks like a bit of party girl actually has 2 jobs and is yawning, not because she went out last night, but because she is working up to 17 hours a day. The young man, who you think may have dropped out of school, actually will be going into the defence forces in two weeks time to learn how to be a munitions expert.

These are the people that make up the rich fabric of our society. These are the people we pass by every day and know nothing about. You never know if or when these acquaintances may one day become significant.

Thirty years ago my mother used to shop at a bulk grocery warehouse. She met a young lady called Debbie and they would chat at length every time my mother shopped there. I didn’t know Debbie at the time, but in an interesting twist I married her brother. Even though the marriage didn’t last, the friendship has, but Mum still boasts how she met Debbie first!

My daughter Amanda worked in a fast food outlet and struck up a friendship with a guy called Ben who was a regular customer. Ben went on to become close friends with Amanda and her fiancé James and was a groomsman when they married recently.

While I am not suggesting that we seek to make meaningful relationships from brushes with passing strangers, these are just a couple of examples of how our lives can become richer as we seek to build community.

From my point of view, I now love it when someone (usually an elderly person) comes up to me and discusses the virtues of a particular tin of peas or brand of soup.

It seems to take us years, close to a lifetime in most cases, to work out that community doesn’t just happen. It takes some effort and, in small ways in mundane places like supermarkets, you can connect with someone. On the surface it may appear superficial, but deep down it’s a feeling that generates an awareness of the other person and motivates a desire to bring about greater connectivity within our society.

And while the older generation and those in retail seem to find it easier to do, the rest of us should practice this art at every opportunity. Taking the time to chat to someone who serves you, or giving a smile and a polite “ excuse me” – whether to a man in a business suit, an elderly woman or a teenager who looks like he dragged himself out of bed 5 minutes ago - may just help to increase respect and consideration for each other. How much better would our society be as a result?

At the very least our isolation will begin to be replaced by a sense of belonging. At the very most it could be the start of a very rewarding relationship.



© Wendy Rush 2008